Sunday, November 23, 2003

One Good Idea Deserves Another

I am glad to read that I. Shawn McElhinney's going to Mexico for Christmas. He needs to find a relaxing place and reward himself for his labors. Here's something I found very nice when I was in Florida (first time to the beach in 30 years), which I hope Shawn will try:
Step 1: Find a good warm sunny area by the beach and a very comfortable chair.

Step 2: Sipping from a thermos of coffee, sit around reading or taking short walks on the beach until it's very hot. Smoke some cigars (for mornings I suggest English-Market-Selection Hoyo Excaliburs or, later on, Punch's admirable Chateau Lafitte) to warm up the soul and banish the morning's toothpaste-breath.

Step 3: Around noontime, open a cooler full of Corona, and drink until you're slightly-more-than-mildly inebriated. Continue smoking cigars (by this time I've switched to good strong maduros like Hoyo's Sultan or JR's Ultimate #1).

Step 4: Loudly refute all heresies. If seagulls aren't flying, you're not refuting loudly enough.

Step 5: Break for a late lunch. I suggest sandwiches of first-quality ham on Italian bread, garnished with red onions, and dressed with olive oil and italian seasonings. Drink more beer as needed. Te Amo's spicy Toro cigar makes an admirable finish for these sandwiches.

Step 6: Continue driking beer, smoking cigars, and refuting all heresies. If couples with children are approaching within 20 yards of your chair, you're not refuting loudly enough.

Step 7: Nap until sunset.[1]
Try it -- it does wonders for the soul.

[1] It is quite possible to refute all heresies in the course of an afternoon and still have time for a nap: When one is slightly-more-than-mildly-inebriated the refutation of all heresies takes a good deal less time and effort than one might expect.

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