Cardinal McCarrick, and like-minded individuals can rest easy: John Kerry is pro-life. From the disturbed ramblings of Alexandra Kerry at the
We were standing on a dock waiting for a boat to take us on a summer trip. Vanessa, the scientist, had packed all her animals including her favorite hamster. Our overzealous golden retriever got tangled in his leash and knocked the hamster cage off the dock. We watched as Licorice, the unlucky hamster bubbled down to a watery doom. That might have been the end of the story. But my dad jumped in, grabbed an oar, fished the cage from the water, hunched over the soggy hamster and began to administer CPR. . . .Greater love hath no man than he will lay down his life . . . . for a hamster. There are no surer hands, no wiser heart, than (H)is. (H)e loves us all, we are all (H)his family. (H)e is teacher, by the life (H)e has led, a life dedicated to serving the weakest among us, the least among us, our hamsters. There is no sacrifice too great to prove the depth of (H)is love. Our life’s work, (H)is life’s work, is the future of America. Let us take up our patriotism, our concern for social justice, and follow (H)im.
And let me tell you this, when he loves you as he loves me and my sister and his family, as he loves the men who fought beside him - there is no sacrifice too great. When he cares for you, as he cares for this country, there are no surer hands, and no wiser heart.
And so when he teaches you, by the life he has led, as he has taught me and my sister all of our lives, there is no better lesson: That the future of this country is not only his life's work. It's mine and yours. It is all of our life's work, all of us.
All this bustle about whether John Kerry should receive communion is just nonsense. He is communion. He draws all things unto himself -- the American people, hamsters, rich widows . . .
From the day when Mr. Ponytail (our counterpart, perhaps, to the Baptist), rose in the 1992 presidential debates to proclaim that we are "symbolically the children of the future president," to this most recent example, the Protovangelium of Alexandra, the blasphemous divinization of American politics becomes ever more pronounced. It would be good material for a dark comedy if we weren’t the most powerful nation since Trajan’s day. George Bush proclaimed a New World Order, and his son appeals to a Higher Father to justify a worldwide crusade for "freedom," or whatever it is that America’s supposed to stand for.
And if we want our children to breathe clean air and drink clean water, if we want them to control their own bodies, if we want them to protect the liberties and opportunities that are our birthrights, we must he involved in the struggle. Because on that day, my father was right, we are the luckiest people in the world. We walk on this soil. We feel this sun. And we are Americans. And now, we'd like to present, our dad, John Kerry!Bill Clinton promised us a New Covenant. Our Senate’s debated Mormon theology as a basis of abortion laws and our foreign policy is tinged with dispensationalist delusions. I wonder what sort of Transfiguration we’ll be treated to at the upcoming Republican version of Mt. Tabor. And, if such things go on long enough, what rough beast, its hour come round at last, will slouch toward Bethlehem to be born.
 "Maimonedean" in the original version. I changed it to avoid the appearance of any slight towards the great Jewish philosopher and theologian.